Natalie's Rap Lyrics

The Lonely Island

We're sitting here today with film star, Natalie Portman.
Hello
So Natalie, what's a day in the life of Natalie Portman like?
Do you really want to know?
Please, tell us.

I don't sleep mutherf*cker!
Off that yak and that durban
Doing one twenty getting head while I'm swerving

Damn Natalie, you a crazy chick
Yo shut the f*ck up and suck my dick!
I bust in dudes mouths like gushers mutherf*cker
Roll up on NBC and smack the shit out Jeff Zucker

What you want Natalie?
To drink and fight
What you need Natalie?
To f*ck all night

Don't test me when I'm crazy off that airplane glue
Put my foot down your throat till your shit's in my shoe
Leave you screamin', pay for my dry cleanin'
F*ck your man, it's my name that he's screamin'

I'm sorry Natalie. Are we to believe you condone driving while intoxicated?
I never said I was a role model.
But what about the kids that look up to you? Do you have message for them?

All the kids looking up to me can suck my dick!
It's Portman mutherf*cker, drink til I'm sick
Slit your throat, and pump nitrous down the hole
Watch you laugh and cry, while I laugh you die

And all the dudes, you know I'm talking to you
We love you Natalie
I want to f*ck you too!

'P' is for Portman
'P' is for Pussy
I'll kill your f*ckin' dog for fun so don't push me

Wow Natalie, I'm surprised, all this from a Harvard graduate.
Well, there's a lot you may not know about me.
Really? Such as?

When I was in Harvard I smoked weed every day
I cheated every test and snorted all the yay
I got a def posse you got a buncha dudes
I'll sit right dead on your face and take a shit

Natalie, you are a bad ass b*tch
(Hell yeah)
And I always pay for your dry cleaning
When my shit gets in your shoe
(What?!)
And as for the drug use, well I can vouch for that
My d*ck is scared of you
Hoooooo

Okie-doke. Natalie, one final question: If you could steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood, who would it...
No more questions
What?!